Being a Main Character Sucks Ass
by Evilshallprevail
Summary: I could hear some sounds in the distance. It goes all like BOOM, AHHHHH, CRASH, And all those heroic things such as DON'T WORRY, I'LL SAVE YOU! And some bright things. WHERE AM I! EEP! WHY AM I A BLOND LITTLE KID!
1. Chapter 1

**Hey! I kept on thinking, what if I put in a SI!Naruto? _Female_ one. I had already an idea so here it is! Imma going to make more SI!-Insert Name here-. It might be fun if the character has a different point of view. Just think of it as a different personality female Naruto that has time traveled back to the past.**

 **Joke: An excuse for being late to school**

 **Teacher:Can you please tell the class why you're so late?**

 **Student: Someone told me to go to hell. Couldn't find it at first but now I'm here**

 **And I am back from my family camping trip. From 1 to 5, I would rate it as a 3. You know? For a week, I checked my** **mail and you know how many mails I got? 95. I had trouble with them but I deleted all the pinterest.**

* * *

'What the fuck just happen?' I thought as I looked at the dude who was carrying me. I mean, sure it was blurry, but I don't recognise this voice. I hear some sobbing and crying out sounds. Just think like this, you are underwater and the sounds above are blurred. That's how I also used my vision. All blurry. There was an appendage which I assumed is someone's hand. I felt uncomfortable. Like paper surrounding my body. I mean, Hello?! Does anyone use a proper blanket?

I was surprised when a blinding yellow held me. Too quick...or was my vision just slow? It's like I didn't felt like someone had shifted me at all. It was getting cold...I think someone realised my problem. But I feel like I'm butt naked. I heard screaming and it sounded desperate. I heard some talking and for a while I was bored. But when someone put me down on what it feels like a pillow or bed or something, I immediately smell feminine smell, red vision and someone hugging me, whispering reassurance. I instinctively reached out the warmth because it was getting cold.

Then I felt someone take me away from the warmth, but I saw the red and the yellow blur. Geez! I don't like the fucking manhandling! I think that I'm dreaming as a dog or something?...or a baby. Haha! That's weird.

But then I heard destructions and roaring. I looked up and saw a thing that looks like it has 9 tails, swinging it around. Heehee, makes me think of Naruto or Pokemon...But pokemons are not big and red color...So Naruto?

I saw a big huge thing coming towards me but that blob of yellow and red blocked it. The huge thing went right through their stomach…I hope that they are just blobs. Then a red thing flow down….Shit,they're human aren't they. I cried in panic.

I heard a glubber whubber fubber thingie and a bright thingie brightened each seconded and I am getting tired of people destroying my eyes. MY POOR FUCKING EYESIGHTS!…

I felt something going through me and I AM STILL FUCKING NAKED! GEEZ! NOBODY LIKES TO BE IN THEIR BIRTHDAY SUIT WHEN IT'S FREAKING WINDY OUT HERE!

DUDE! WTF IS GOING IN ME! IT BUUUUUURRRRNNNNNSSSSS…..Well, not really. I just cried because eh, its a appropriate situation when you are burning isn't it….Man, I'm so nonchalant. Sis even used to think that when couples kiss, I go all like 'oh, what nice friends'…Technically…..I might go like that. I was picked up and shushed in a gentle way. I feel wrinkles.

Old person?I felt even water….or is it water or oil or ewww piss. Nup, it's water…definitely water or tears since its only momentarily. I was brought to a noisy place and I cried. It was freaking noisy like in an argument you know?

I might be a test subject or something….hmmmm…..What was I thinking about again.

I was laid to sleep, in the background, I swear that I could hear some scribbles


	2. Chapter 2

I finally could see what the fuck was going on. I am easily bored so I just swung my now moveable hands to a beat that I made up….WHAAAA! I'M FREAKING AS HELL BORED! I also sleep and eat and daydream…and hum and see….. So I turned into a baby. Nuuuuuuuh….. I rolled over my bed and bumped to the wooden cribs and cackled. I was waiting when would it break. It seemed to never break. It's been like whut, 500 years already? It seems to me, It goes dark and bright for a loooooooooooooooong time.

I whined and suddenly smiled -Not seen by me, the ANBUs above looked perplexed by her sudden change of mood-

I curled my self and moved my body, bobbing my head up and down. I laughed out loud and tried feeling for teeth but there were none. It was like I completely covered my teeth with some gums and felt it with my tongue.

I slobbered all over in the process, taking advantage of it and my baby state, I made spit bubbles. I used to do this but my (uglier) twin said that it was gross. Well, he hadn't tried it so he can't blame me! GEEEZZ!

I soon cried since I was bored, I saw some white thing moving from above before it jumped from above and beside my crib. I tilted my head in confusion, halting my cries of boredom as I see that I could use him as an entertainment

So I do all what all babies/kids universally do. PICK ME UP! I giggled. The guy in mask picked me up and cradled me. I took in the scent of him since that is one of my hobby! Smell and remember so you don't have to use your eyes!

He smells like rotten metal….What was it called? Meh, oh! And dogs with forest smell! I whined as he kept me down in crib and jumped back up! COME BAAAAAACCCCCCKKK!

Soon, the door opened and I saw a wrinkly crippled old man stumbling in. I giggled and as he came closer to my crib, I threw my rattle at his head, he dodged it and looked at me like a scientist looks at an experiment. I whimpered and started to cry as loud as I can because he looked like a pedophile.

I threw almost everything there is in my crib, there are a lot in my crib so I have a lot of entertainments. 4 dog plushies, 3 frog..no, this is a toad, plushies, 5 monkey plushies, and a fox plushie. It was the most comfortable one I have and I instantly liked it. I didn't threw that one of course. I named it Inari, named after the god of foxes or something.

I also threw a rattle at him. The dude seemed to dodge like a matrix! I pouted and raised my hands up at him. He didn't pick me up. Well, that's unfair.

I instantly giggled again as his wrinkly face jiggled. So when he place his hands near my face, I instantly gently pinched the skin of his. It was all skin so I slowly counted in my mind until when will it stay crumpled. It lasted 5 second. Hah, Grammie lasted for 3 second before she got annoyed of me playing with the skin of her hands.

I giggled again. Before he managed to get his hands back, I seized one and started nomming on it. He immediately pulled his other hand back and the action made me bump my head towards the bars of the crib. I cried since my tolerance in pain has decreased a lot. I had endured things but it really hurt.

So the masked guy came down and took me from the cradle and looked at the old man apprehensively and the old guy left the room. The guy sighed and he signed something at above and to my surprise, there were more.

A purple hair woman with a snake mask, a brown haired….teen?kid? with a cat mask and another brown haired guy with a bird mask. Or is it a whutsit?

I babbled happily at them. More entertainments for me. So when the guy who came to me first kept my down, I rolled over the floor to run away from them and crawled as fat as I can. I was having fun hiding at really small places that nobody would ever think of before they found me and I had to crawl again

I was getting sleepy so I slept in the 5th new hiding spot I had found

* * *

"Where is she!?" The ANBU Dog asked as he panicked around, lifting tables and chairs and even the sofa.

"Calm down Senpai! You know if you panic, you can't think clearly right?" ANBU cat told to ANBU dog as he watched for holes. ANBU Snake was searching at the roof tops

"YOU KNOW THAT SHE CAN'T CLIMB UP!" ANBU Dog and Cat shouted at her as she jumped to another spot

"Ehehe" She laughed nervously before searching on the grounds

"Shhh! Found her" ANBU Falcon's arms emerged from the air vents as he brought out a blonde haired child out

ANBU Dog sighed in relief as he held his hands out to receive the child.

"Yare Yare" ANBU Falcon sighed before depositing the child towards the man who was holding out his hands

"You are almost like your mother" ANBU Dog said to the sleeping child and everything grew solemn

"We'll raise her properly" He declared, the other ANBU were nodding in agreement as they went back to their positions.

* * *

 **Hey! I just finished a 3km run! IN FUCKING 18 MINUTES COMPARED TO MY FIRST TIME DOING A 3KM RUN! IT'S LIKE 29MINUTES! HOW CRAZY IS THAT!?**

 **WOOOOOOO!**


	3. Chapter 3

I was bored. Really bored. Even if I can crawl and roll around and throw things and roll around, I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO! I whined about it but this song has been stuck in my head the whole time. I flapped my my arms as the music started in my head

I HAVE PEEEEEEEEEN! I HAVE AN AAAAPPPPLLLLEEEE! UGH! APPLE PEN! I HAVE A PEEEENN! I HAVE PINEAPPLE! UGH! PINEAPPLE PEEENN! APPO PEN! PINENAPO PEEEENNNN! UGH! -Deep voice- Pen Pineapple Apple Pen

I kept singing that the whole time, often switching to Gangnam style, Daddy, Very Very Very, Bang Bang Bang, TT, What is love, Never gonna give you up, Let it go, Do you wanna build a snowman and others. Though they are all stuck in my head and I still can't get them out.

I squealed and rolled all over the crib. Banging my rattle against the crib's bar in all of the tone that I sang. None of the masked people really plays with me. They only babysit me. They are no fun. I was bored all the time so I run away from them and would always laugh at their attempts to find me. Though most of the time, like about 70% of the time, I fall asleep waiting for them to find me

"Yo" I heard a deep voice and turned to look at the owner of the voice. Appearance deceive...something? And something. It was a talking PUUUUUUUGGGG! I squealed, slowly and carefully climbed out of the crib, and crawled all the way to the dog, only to gnaw on him on the ear, ignoring his protests and whining.

"Tell you what. I read you a story, you stop chewing on me" The pug said. I stopped chewing on him with my gums and thought about it before nodding. I crawled with him as we walked towards the bookshelf. I selected one and gave it to him. He picked it up with his mouth and we both headed back to the crib together.

It was a surprise when he started reading. He had a deep and smooth voice. Good enough that you can sleep. I snored away in the middle of the story, eyes too heavy and tired to bother staying open.

* * *

The ANBUs in the Jinchuuriki squad would find themselves often humming to what their ward were singing to. Several times, their friends would find them humming to the song. When they were together, one would start humming to fill up the silence and the rest would follow, only to stop when they realize what they're doing.

Of course, the baby blonde would never realize this until much later when she hears her sensei humming to that song as she sang it in the future

* * *

 **Sorry, not sorry. It's been a long time since I've updated this and I'm planning to update the others**


	4. Chapter 4

I woke up to an unfamiliar ceiling. Unlike the soft green, I was met with a dark and dreary brown. No windows either! So it was ugly and dark and small and ugly! For a long time, the only person I kept on seeing was a pinchy, ugly old woman who would always do a sekuhara by pinching my butt. Though I guess it's called child abuse. I cried for a long time when that hag hit my face. I screamed bloody murder. Good thing I was near the crib because she dropped me when something red came out of me and burned her. She screamed and ran away from the room, leaving the door open.

I never saw her again but I didn't care. But anyways. Sekuhara became my first word. How?

 _Flashback_

 _I remember the Japanese word for sexual harassment. So when the old hag was bottle feeding me, more like trying to choke me with it, she pinched me every time. At first, it's only the arm and I screamed bloody murder. She USED HER NAIIIIIILLLLSSSS! Then the next time she choke me, she pinched my butt. I screamed and screamed and I thought of the word sexual harassment. Then I remember the Japanese translation of it._

 _And so I screamed it out the whole time_

 _"SEKUHARA! SEKUUUUHAAAAAARAAAAA!" I screamed and screamed and screamed. I vaguely heard bunch of doors open, a bunch of kiddies waking up and crying. But I didn't care. I still kept on screaming_

 _Nobody could stop me from crying. And I bet that hag even knew it. And that was the first time she bitch slapped me and how I burned her with a third-degree._

 _End of Flashback_

Nobody really bothered me anymore after that. Though the bunch of masked people came back and started raising me again. I didn't mind the silence they offered. At least they didn't screech like a banshee just like that woman. No, banshee is too much of a nice word. She's more than a banshee. A bitchy, typical teenager but old type of banshee. That's even far worst.

I feel like i want to become that janitor in something I watched. It's where the janitor kept on finding kiss marks on the toilet mirror and he had to clean it. To make them stop, he kissed the mirror before showing them HOW he cleans it. He used the toilet water and kept on scrubbing it until the kiss mark disappears. I dream to become that janitor.

The pug once more made his appearance and read a book for me, making me fall asleep with a nice dream

* * *

 **The main character, she is a cheerful and almost like the original Naruto. What I mean by almost is because the amount of apathy she shows in everything. I have a plan on that so please don't go complaining to me**


	5. Chapter 5

I frowned as the new caretaker man-handled me and shoved me out of the orphanage. I finally figured out where I am and I am not happy. The caretakers were well off and while the orphans seem to be in rags and would share each time. The new matron of the orphanage declared that I am already old enough to live by myself and promptly shut the door. I tried to open the door and it was locked. I frowned even more deeper. All of my plushies were missing ever since I was in that fucking place

So I picked myself off of the ground and dusted myself off. Vengeance will be mine. I went ahead and skipped towards a direction and sang the Trololo song. Making my voice to it but it seemed a bit too high pitched.

* * *

I ate off the garbage in the street, my hair dirtied and I couldn't even see the color with all the grime and dust in it. If I ever heard of the news that the orphanage was burned down by a careless cigarette the new matron usually smoke to, I never made any indication that I knew anything properly. It's not like I had any affiliation to the orphanage anymore.

Eh, back to where I am. The restaurants owned by the Akimichi clan always has the most food and all the street rats knew it. We always fought dirty for it. We were never shooed out of the garbage or anything.

But this time, I won. I burned everyone with that red thing that came out of me. Probably the Kyuubi's chakra. I thanked the guy mentally and continued on eating the bunch of discarded food.

It had been 3 Autumns since I was born...I think So I guess I'm now 3? Give or take a few. Wah. What a dick. In the system of being a street rat. You fought for yourself, you could not trust others. It's a dog eat dog world. Some had made gangs together to gang up on others in order to ensure they got food and got each other's back while the others went solo like I did.

I already have a two digit number of kills with the amount of red chakra around me. I would've have though that I would be discovered with all the sensors and the corrosive chakra the red chakra has, but noooooo.

So I kept on going on. I became a tiny menace to the street rat society. I could fight for myself, didn't join in on any gangs because they're too useless, and did not care who I kill in order to get food. I had to adapt fast anyways. The only other way to get food was to hunt but I don't even have any knife I could use as there were no such thing as discarded weapon. They would be melted down and remade once more. There's nothing in the civilian section either and that sucks. So all the street rats use either chakra if they're trained with it, or they use their bare hands. They would dirty it if it means to get food.

* * *

I hummed merrily to Unravel and encountered a bizarre sight. Wow! Ohmigosh! He's like a Santa-wannabe.

"Tch, looks like a brat saw me. Better kill it" I heard him mutter to himself, taking out a kunai. The brown bag stopped wiggling like a worm but stopped when spoke. I eyed the kunai with interest. Hmm...maybe I can finally get a weapon. I grinned, a glint of greed in my eyes, and attacked, the red chakra assisting me wildly.

* * *

I blinked at the sight of thousands of ANBUs popping out of nowhere. They were way too late anyways. Slow poke. I destroyed the guy's career by paralyzing him waist down and chopped both his hands so he couldn't do a thing and possibly more, then I found out that it was a Baby Hinata that was in the bag and now she was clinging onto me as I rifled through the guy's belongings, humming to Living in the Sunlight by Tim Tim. Finder's keepers, loser's that bother them, never bothers me and all that tripe. The guy was unconscious anyways so there's no screeching anymore. Though Baby Hinata seemed traumatized as she was trembling.

Whoops.

Anyways, one of the guys tried approaching and tried grabbing onto Baby Hinata. I reached out to bite him when all I bit was the air because of how fast his hands were retracted. I reverted my attention to Baby Hinata, who grips on me even tighter as she now hugs not my back, but my front.

"Rawr, she's mine" I mimicked a claw as I scratched the air while the other hand stayed on Baby Hinata's back.

My (uglier) twin and I had always said before, 'What's yours is mine and what's mine is mine. If it's yours, then I take it for myself'. So now, Baby Hinata is mine.

* * *

I stood in the office. Baby Hinata was not letting go of me and I glared at the man who was her father and he glared at me back, demanding me to hand his daughter back to him.

"Uhhh, how about a no" I replied back. He glares even harder. "She's my daughter!" His voice boomed. I made a zipping motion, snapping my finger. "Nuh uh, she's mine now"

"Naruto-chan" Old man Hokage said. I glanced at him, scrunching my face and tilting my head in confusion "Who dat?" I asked. Baby Hinata's father and the Old guy seemed surprised. I wonder how they're surprised when I'm dirty, thus causing Baby Hinata to be even more dirty since the bag was really stinky.

Oh, that's my name now. I've forgotten my birth name from all the time I've been making fake names with my (stupider) twin. Felicia, Anna, Rebecca, Shion, Janice, etc. Ehehe, I don't even remember my (idiotic) twin's name anymore.

"Naruto-chan," He said once more, " Hiashi-san has been worried about his daughter. If you could just let him check on her" He said, trying to coerce me into giving up Baby Hinata. Nuhhhh uhhh.

"You're a shinobi right?" I continued without any confirmation "You could just check from some distance away right?" I said with a sarcastic smile. "Can I go now?" I asked the old man. He seemed to amused at our previous argument. An adult vs a 3 year old child and the child is winning.

Baby Hinata seemed reluctant to leave me and I'm all too happy to keep her by my side. She's adorable anyways, with those rosy cheeks and huge eyes. She's just adorable.

So they made a deal. She would be able to visit me if I had a stable place. I thought that it was acceptable. So I shook on it with him. Baby Hinata started crying when she realized that she had to go home. So I took out a kunai out of the stolen pouch and gave it to her.

"If anyone annoys you, stab them with this" I said, handing it over to her. She nodded determinedly. Her father sighed and picked her up. She waved at me as they left over his back. I smiled at that.

Hmm...Now, through illegal or legal means? I hummed Megalovania as I skipped off somewhere

* * *

 **I'm trying to take away all my morals for this fic and it's hard...I suck at talking and stuff.**


	6. Chapter 6

It turns out that I went through a legal way of owning an apartment. Before I could leave, I was called back to the Old man's office once more. He offered me a deal. I had to go to the Shinobi academy in order to get an apartment, and a monthly orphan stipend. I considered it and nodded. The academy, he said, isn't going to start until 5 days for a new semester. He said that, I might be young, but if I managed, I could always keep Baby Hinata with me.

I followed him all the way to where the apartment is. He accompanied me the whole time, helping me shop for some things that might be important with his own money. So now, I have a bed, some clothes, a bed sheet, pillows, blankets, ingredients, 2 pans, a pot, a kettle, bath supplies, toilet paper, cleaning supplies, and some books for the academy. I tried paying with my own money, but it wasn't enough and the old man offered to pay for me. I reluctantly accepted as I hated owning people but relented.

"I'll promise I'll pay you back once I get enough money!" I swore. He nodded and patted me on the head. But what amuses me is that he gets the ANBUs to the the labor work. We set up the things together and he had to go soon.

I felt a bit upset at it as he was actually nice but saw him to the door.

* * *

There was a knock on the door the next day. I just ate breakfast and currently washing the plate. Curious, I checked on the door and to my eternal happiness, Baby Hinata was there with another Hyuuga.

"I will be picking her up at 5" He said before leaving. I stared at him in a crude 'WTF' way but smiled in happiness at the girl and let her in. I thought her how to make normal cookies, checkered cookies, and cinnamon rolls. Good thing I bought these.

She loved them and listened to my every instructions like a gospel. We had some difficulties due to our height but the stuff were pretty good. She liked the cinnamon rolls the most so I packed most of them in, along with some of the normal cookies and the checkered cookies for her when it's time for her to go home.

As she received it with a glowing smile. I stared at her escort and gestured him to bend down to my height and he did. I stuffed a checkered cookie in his mouth, making him jolt to his own height at the shock. I proceeded to shove some cookies I packed just for him into his hands and turn to Hinata, her babbling her thanks towards me.

She was just so freaking adorable! I waved to her as she left. She turned around and smiled, waving shyly at me as her other hand was in her escort's hands.

I closed the door and proceed to melt into goo. She was just so adorable!

* * *

 **I think I should make a** **profile about her. I'm thinking that her past life twin has all the artistic skills whiles she has the domestic skills. Basically a decorator and a maker.**

 **Personality: Apathetic, 'What's yours is mine, what's mine is mine' attitude, Goes with the flow,**

 **Likes: Cute things, sharp pointy things**

 **Dislikes: Her (hideous) twin, Bullshit**

 **Hobbies: Domestic things (Cooking, Baking, Sewing, etc), Torturing**

 **There will be more as it progresses**


	7. Chapter 7

**Yes, she saved Neji's father that way, but because she's her, she completely forgets and disregards about it. She still made the guy alive but incapacitated. With the Kyuubi Chakra, she basically burned the Kumo guy's chakra coils. Nobody can go into her head for the fear of the Kyuubi and because she has a fucked up morals, nobody would ever think of getting into her head**

 **Omg, I'm so freaking bored, I've gotten to the bad side of the internet. How do you think I got most of the song. I'm just and currently listening to I'm a Banana, It's Peanut Butter Jelly time, HEYEYEYEYYAYAYEYE thing, EVERYBODY DO THE FLOP, Da Coconut Song, etc.**

 **I actually believe that Naruto started out early, but kept on failing, thus causing him to 'fail the exams 3 times'. I'm making her graduate fast. Not Itachi rate, but about 2 years, I suppose.**

* * *

I was the youngest one in the academy, there was no denying that. I was bored immediately. Wtf? These were ninjas-in-making. Blood thirsty, future killers. But this? This is a joke to the shinobis. I went to complain to the old man. I barged it, completely ignoring the stupid secretary who thought that she could boss me around.

"Oi! Old man!" I hollered. He looked up from his paperworks and smiled at me, his eyes crinkling in kindness. "Yes, what is it Naruto-chan?" He asked patronizingly. I slammed down the book at his desk.

"Floppy the Rabbit? 'Oh no! Floppy the Rabbit is injured! And that's why you have to handle it properly, kids! If not you'll turn out like him!'" I imitated imitated Saddam Hussein from South Park's voice. That high-pitched, annoying sound. He stared at me, bewildered. Just like saying 'Wtf you talkin' 'bout?' ish.

He skimmed through the book. "And this is why Konoha has the most death rate. I lived in the streets and I sure know that they have better death rates than those incompetent fucktards" I said, not censoring my words. Hey, this is what I get for living in the street.

"Hush, Language" He said idly while flipping through the books. Then he stood up calmly, walked around his table and threw my book up, did some hand sign and became a dragon, a fire breathing dragon.

"I'm sorry about your book, Naruto-chan. I'll pay for new books" He made some hand gesture and I don't know what happened.

* * *

"From today, we are changing the whole curriculum, due to the death rates that are raising higher. We are going to do a war time curriculum so that you brats can survive a lot longer insteada dying in your first C-rank mission." That made some cried.

It was actually fun, though hellish to the others. I sucked at genjutsu though. So I tried something else. A wide-ranged genjutsu. MUAHAHAHAHA! IT WORKED! So I safely passed that with always an A+ in my grades even if they tried to sabotage it. My grades on paper can always be forged to make me fail, but my real skills on other things were always A+, thus making me even more awesome in my own eyes.

They tried sabotaging taijutsu. But since this is not my first life, I had 'my own style' quote quote over there. It's not my own style but there's no such thing a Jiujitsu and Judo, and anything else like Karate, Taekwondo, Muay Thai, Aikido, Wresting, boxing, Krav Maga, and many other things I'm too lazy to name.

But anyways...Today, we are being introduced to Trapping. I took it like duck to water.

* * *

"UZUMAKI NARUTO!" I cackled as I skillfully evaded my victims. I managed to make them fully pink, covered in duck feathers, and on their back is a 'Kick Me' sign. Though there are various things. Like 'Am I sexy enough', or ' Girl, look at my body', or 'I know I've been a dirty little bastard'. That was my personal favorite.

I only let them catch me in the end. I couldn't take them seriously at all after that.

* * *

 **Yeah, I watch South Park. I sometimes cringe at the language. I'm actually not really use to all the cursing. The only thing I've ever used was Fuck, Shit, and damn, not that others. Some others are scientific words, but unfortunately due to the constant use of it due to the hooligans, it became not a scientific word, but more like a slang. That's why sometimes, I refer boobs to mammary glands, or the weights on my chest that makes it really uncomfortable to lie down.**

 **Seriously, I wish that I'm still a kid. Flat as board. Lying down hurts a lot. Being hit in the chest hurts a lot. The heavier the boobs are, the more your back hurts. Everything is unfair.**


	8. Chapter 8

I scowled. Now that I think about it, I rarely met up with Baby Hinata. There's no such thing as 'no school on the weekends' and that sucks. Even when starting a new year, only a week is given for us to take a break as to prevent their skills from deteriorating.

No choice but to skip most of it then!

* * *

"Baby~!" I crashed into her room from the window. She squeaked a bit before her eyes brighten up, that little cutie pie! Soon, the door barged open and there were battle ready ninjas. "Hi! I'm kidnapping her now!" I chirped before grabbing Baby Hinata's hands and pulled her along with me and onto my back. It's been 3 months deprived of Baby Hinata, even though we met up at least 2 hours a day. NOT ENOUGH!

* * *

I scowled as Baby Hinata was taken away from me. She started crying as soon as they did, reaching out her tiny hands towards me. I couldn't go after her because the others bounded me with rope, not that I can't escape from these.

"Naruto-chan," The old man started "If you want to free your time, why don't you graduate as fast as you can?" He said with a smile. I scowled even further, doing a criss-cross, apple sauce.

"No! That'll take too much time anyways! If I graduate, it would mean that I would become genin, which would lead to training and missions, which would lead no time for that cutie pie!" I threw my hands up in the air, tone getting more aggravated and more louder.

"Well, if you get the promotion fast, perhaps you can stay in the village to keep watch on Hinata-chan" He said without a beat, still working on his paperworks, only glancing up at me as I managed to get out of my bounds almost immediately.

"Then, can you teach me an effective clone technique!? That's the only thing I have problems with! Look at this disgraceful heathen!" I pointed at my newly made creation that was pale and ugly and almost immediately sank to the floor with a dead expression.

He looked at it and almost burst out laughing, coughing into his hands instead as he looked away. I scowled even further and crossed my arms, not noticing that my expression looks more like a fox that way.

"Okay. Because I know you have too much chakra, I'll teach you a technique called, Kage Bunshin" He said with a wink. I perked up at that. Oooooo!

* * *

"UZUMAKI NARUTO!" Somebody slammed the door open, glaring at me. The class all stared at him confusedly. Naho-sensei stared at him bemusedly.

"Is there any reason why you came in here, just to disrupt my class?" Naho-sensei spoke not stopping in what he was doing.

"She did her pranks again!" That idiotic guy shouted. Naho-sensei raised his eyebrow, "She's always been here" He said. The mutterings started, agreeing in confusion.

"She probably bunshined herself!" The No-IQ guy shouted. Naho-sensei stared at him as if he was stupid, "Everyone knows that she can't bunshin herself. It turns out white and dead" He said in my defense. Wahhhh! I LOVE YOU SENSEI

"But!..But she!...Then!... Oh, I give up" He said before sliding the door close with a bang. Naho-sensei, the only one who doesn't tries sabotaging me, " A+ for your Trapping skills, Uzumaki" He said, looking at me before continuing what he did.

* * *

 **Yay! More interaction with the Hokage and Naruto! And this is how she learnt the clone technique at the mere age of 3. By the way, I don't really get why Naruto don't keep the foxy expression he always had in the first few episodes of pre-Shippuden. He always closed his eyes when he thinks or seem really surprised at things. I wanted to watch more like that about him so now, I'm making her always foxy. I mean, I get that it associates him with the Kyuubi, but it doesn't mean he should stop his habits.**


	9. Chapter 9

Inuzuka Naho, the man who didn't care that I hosted the Kyuubi. He's nicer than the others and he's my teacher. The guy who made the rest of the kids cry. He specializes in hunting. Well, most of his clan are.

This guy, I like this guy because he's not as stupid as the others and couldn't give a flying fuck about me. The others cared too much about me and tries to sabotage me. The other idiotic kids started following their examples, which then I brought out a whip and whipped their ugly mugs. Where I got the whip? Well, I wouldn't tell anyone that I stole it from the adult store in the Red Light District. To anyone who ask, it's something I found. Heh, that'll work cuz imma kid.

The whip is a lot more convenient than I thought. I trained myself to be able to grab things with it, to switch off the lights, to close the door, to cut things, etc, and what ever.

Of course, that training costed hundreds and thousands of damages. I had to replace the mug like about 15 times, or so when trying to get it. I can catch it with my super, awesome, ninja skills, but I miscalculated my strength and shattered the mug instead. I meant a real mug this time, not a face mug.

I'm not telling anyone about it anyways.

* * *

"Your brat just color bombed the Chunin lounge! Watch over her better!" Some random Chunin who carried me to my classroom by my collar, barged into the classroom. Naho-sensei just raised an eyebrow

"And it's my job because...?" He trailed off, trying to get an answer with a textbook in one hand while the other held a chalk against the blackboard.

"SHE'S SUPPOSED TO BE IN CLASS!" I winced at the loudness. And I decided to protest about it by scratching the hand that held me hostage, making him yelp in pain. I ran all the way to the empty seat that was always empty because I apparently 'contaminated' it. I didn't even trust Naho-sensei (At this time).

"Well, isn't it your responsibility to watch out for intruders just in case? Idiotic and incompetent. You don't deserve that rank if Uzumaki managed to get past a lot of Chunin to be able to color bomb the lounge. What if it was a poison bomb or a gas bomb to make the people inside it die of asphyxiation?" Naho-sensei asked the guy, his one eyebrow raising a lot higher, making the idiot a lot more paler at the possibilities. Then he just gave up and stormed outside.

"NEXT TIME, KEEP A BETTER WATCH ON HER!" He shouted before slamming the door. He sneered at the door the idiot was at and looked at me

"Next time, target him specifically." He said before continuing on to teaching.

Whoa, a teacher encouraging a student to prank!? I grinned widely

"YES SIR!" With that cheesy salute and began my class work.

* * *

That thing happened multiple times and he always suggested what I should do to improve on my traps. Make the color brighter and smellier so it'll be hell for most of them, send them their most feared nightmares (not psychological one, more like fear of spiders, fear of clowns, fear of the number 13, etc), make some pepper bomb that would blind them, stink bomb, etc. I love his suggestions

Those suggestions and subtle encouragement made him my most favorite teacher ever!


	10. Chapter 10

"Uzumaki, come here" Naho-sensei said to me one day when class was about to start. All the kids (except for the quiet ones) when all like 'OOoooooh, she's in trouble' and all that kinda crap. I followed him out the door

"You're bored in here right?" He asked me rhetorically before grinning. "How would you like to go to the higher classes?"

* * *

"HI! I'M UZUMAKI NARUTO AND I'M PLANNING TO BECOME THE RICHEST PERSON IN THE WHOLE WORLD!" I yelled out my ambition. Well, this way, I can pay back the old man even quicker. The class started laughing at me. So I did what I did. I looked down so my bangs could shadow my eyes before tilting my head, leaving one of my eye to be seen.

I placed a genjutsu on my eye to make it glow red and demonic, placed a background genjutsu, which would show a shinigami in the background, and place an auditory genjutsu, to make it seem like their deaths were coming.

The sound of a knife being sharpened was heard by the class, making a shudder go down their spine

"You wanna say that again~?" I cooed softly. They all shook their head as one, making me smile and change the genjutsu into a flowery image.

"Good!" I said and turned to the shell-shocked teacher who was a wussy. "Where can I sit now?" I asked and she grumbled, pointing a seat somewhere. I don't like this teacher. I bared my teeth at her before skipping towards my seat.

* * *

"NAHO-SENSEI! I MISSED YOU! THAT UGLY WAS REALLY BORING! EVEN MORE BORING THAN YOU!" I whined towards him when I saw him after school, zooming at inhuman speed and practically tackling him. He patted my head.

"Who's your teacher?" He asked. I tried to wrack my brain for a name. "Motoyama Micchi-sensei!" I told him. He blinked and barked in laughter, showing his heritage even more when he laughed harder.

"Ji-san!" I heard somebody call out, I turned around and saw somebody running towards our way. "You? An uncle?" I asked incredulously, pointing quite rudely at him. He ruffled my hair even harder.

"Brat" He called out, gesturing to the girl to come towards us as he easily lifted me to get up from when I tackled him.

"Brat, meet the little brat, little brat, meet the brat" He said unhelpfully. The 'brat' kicked him in the shin, causing him to fake a wince and moaned about the fact that he'll die. She kicked him even more while I stabbed my elbow into his gut. She stared at me before grinning wolfishly.

"Inuzuka Hana!" She said, holding out her hand for me to get up because Naho-sensei brought me down when he 'bemoaned his fate as he was brought down unto his knees'. I took her hand, "Uzumaki Naruto!" I said as I pulled myself up. We grinned at each other before kicking Naho-sensei without a beat and still stared at each other.

"I like you!" We both stared at the same time. We laughed together but then we both had to clutch our head in the pain when Naho-sensei hit us on the head. We looked at him with teary eyes but he kept one grinning, no wait, smirking.

"That oughta teach ya to not be idiots".

"MEANN!" Hana and I said at the same time. Wow! We're like twins! Probably a lot better than my own (Baka-er) twin.

He laughed while running away as we tried to chase him

* * *

Hana and I became besties. She also took to Baby Hinata pretty well. She loved her more than she did her brother that was about our age.

"She's so adorable, right?" I cooed as I poked a blushing Baby Hinata in the cheek.

"I know, look at this soft pudgy cheek and the cuteness!" She squealed as she hugged Hinata, swinging her back and forth as she rubbed Baby Hinata's cheeks on hers.

We both fangirled over her, bonding together. We played dress up Baby Hinata in Hana's room. She had a lot of clothes unlike me. I made sure to bake a lot of cinnamon rolls just for Baby Hinata.

"Even my own little brother is not as cute as you" Hana said as she put Baby Hinata back on the floor.

We continued the rest of the time cooing at Baby Hinata's cuteness, feeling disappointment when it was the time for her to get home


	11. Chapter 11

It wasn't even a week later until I got thrown out of class and into another. Well, advancement, here I come...I think

* * *

"HI! I'M UZUMAKI NARUTO! I WANT TO BECOME THE RICHEST PERSON IN THE WHOLE WORLD!" I shouted out my ambition once more. I glanced around to try and find anyone I know about and my perked up

"HANA-CHAN!" I smiled widely until I was hit on the head, reprimanded and sent to a seat where I'm once alone. Everyone except for the stoic ones and Hana-chan started snickering

"I heard from my mom that she's a monster"

"I heard that she caused a lot of people to die!"

"Why is the demon here?" I heard the whispers. I grinned demonically and let out some Killer Intent with the help of the Kyuubi Chakra, though I had to negate the chakra part and only take out the Killer Intent, I sent thanks to the one stuck in my gut.

They all thankfully shut up and the teacher somehow didn't notice. Actually, I know why. I only aimed it at them. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! I'M AWESOME!...I'm getting really bored. So I made a clone without the poof and escaped out the window when the teacher's back was turned.

* * *

Once more, I stole Baby Hinata away from her tutors. She actually noticed me sneak in and immediately reached out for me, causing me to coo at her internally and snatched her right under the tutor's nose.

I quickly hurried off with her.

"Na-chan... What are we going to do today?" Baby Hinata did that cute tilting head thing. I squealed and hugged her. "Today! We, are going to make more cinnamon rolls, then shortcake, then possibly ruin Baumkuchen! Man, I could never make it when I tried using the method that Yumeiro Patisserie uses" I rambled off, holding Baby Hinata's hand as she listened to me rambling.

* * *

We actually made it. THE BAUMKUCHEN! THE BRILLIANT, DELICIOUS THING! We stuffed ourselves full of it, she scarfed down the cinnamon roll though. We made a lot more of it due to her request to make it. It's the first time she ever requested anything so I did.

But the killjoy is, her father coming in and stormed inside my apartment. He argued that I shouldn't kidnap her away from her tutors because of the possibility that she might have been kidnap once more and would be too late if they thought that she was with me. I hugged Baby Hinata possessively and hissed. Nobody's going to take her away with me.

"Then I'll leave a note?" I suggested. He rambled off a lot more and made me promise that I could kidnap her, but as long as I bring her cousin along with her. I easily agreed with him, as long as he helped me pay for the baking groceries. He easily agreed with me.

* * *

Oh? This is Neji-Weji. I stared at him, making him shuffle with uneasiness. "Okay then. I hope that you'll come with us in our baking lessons" I said. He nodded confusedly and followed me into my apartment where Baby Hinata is waiting in. The other Hyuuga who was beside her got up and soon began leaving. I made him take some of the things that we baked. He thanked me out of politeness before leaving.

He awkwardly did things, not used to anything in what we're making.

With him trying to concentrate on stirring the bowl, with flour on his nose, makes me wish for a camera to take this CUTE AND ADORABLE PICTURE! ASFGEGWE! It's just so adorable with Neji-Weji and Baby Hinata working together and beaming their cutie patooty smiles. Are all Hyuugas this cute when they're smol adorable children!?

* * *

 **I forgot what I want to do for a showdown between Hiashi and Naruto. I'm having some difficulties...**

 **Anyways, I had the weirdest dream and I** **only remember this specific part. Ya see, There was a boy in my dream, holding a grayish brownish paint with a paintbrush in his hand. He smirked and said to me "You'll stay awake after this" and with one swish of his paintbrush, it splattered on me and I woke up.**

 **I couldn't go back to sleep. Even if I tried to, so I gave up**


	12. Chapter 12

It was rainy and I hated it. It meant that I couldn't hunt any animals as they were in hiding.

I muttered under my breath as I walked through the empty street, not bothering with any umbrella because they were too freaking expensive. Well, for me it is and they charge me for too much. I mean, ¥5000 for just one ugly, a bit crooked umbrella? No way. I saw the original price they sold it for. ¥1000, a bit expensive but it's better than nothing.

I was freaking HUNGARY! Just kidding, not Hungary from Hetalia, but hungry. Though sometimes, I'd like to pretend to be Hungary with her frying pan. I ignored my stomach grumbling in exchange for overthinking.

I perked up, smelling something delicious in the distance. I checked it out because my mouth was already watering. Peeking into the stand, I saw an old man who looked at me right as I did. Holy shit, is he an ex-Shinobi? He gestured for me to come in. I ducked away because it's been a long time since I've been genuinely nice to.

But once more I peaked in because of the tantalizing smell.

The guy smiled at me and gestured for me to sit down. When I did, he settled a towel around my neck for me to wipe and a bowl of what looks like a miso ramen in front of me. Well, it doesn't even matter because I couldn't ever get poisoned because of the friendly help. Well, he's not exactly friendly but whateves.

So I opened the chopstick and rolled it around, digging into the meal

Wow, this is the best meal I've ever eaten in both life!

I ate it with newfound gusto. But I halted, I took out my wallet with heavy heart that he scammed me.

"Don't worry, it's on the house" He said. "And the next ones too". He gave me more, making me wonder why he's being nice. But I didn't ask him.

After I was full, I was prepared to leave, plopping some money down, but the guy refused and gave me a bunch of something in a plastic bag, as well as an umbrella.

He waved me off as I left.

When I got home, I opened the plastic bag and stared. In there was more ramen as well as some candies. Oh... so this is why the original Naruto liked Ramen and Ichiraku ramen so much.

I ignored the tears running down my face to storing the ramen and candies elsewhere.

* * *

 **Finally the famous guy who is practically the secret to peace! I copied this off of Naruto Shippuden Ending 34 - Niji no Sora.**


	13. Chapter 13

"Old Man!" I squealed as I ran into the office, around the table, and onto his lap. He smiled warmly at me

"What's gotten you all so worked up, Naruto-chan?" He asked me, idly patting my head.

"I ate the most awesome, delicious meal ever! The old guy there was pretty nice too!" I blabbed. I could feel him tense up

"Oh? What is the 'most awesome, delicious meal ever?'" He asked, amused but still tense

"RAMEN!" I shouted. He relaxed and laughed joyously. "Oh, I forgot to ask for the old guy's name. But I remember the stand's name. It was Ichiraku Ramen. It's small but it's the best thing I've ever eaten, even the stuff I make is like puny compared to the old guy's ramen" I blabbed even more.

"Then, do you want to go eat ramen? This old man would like to try the 'most awesome, delicious meal ever'" I whined to him when he copied me. He chuckled once more and let me drag him to where I found the ramen stand

Old man stared at me, horrified to see me eat about 5 bowls. I ate 2 Shio Ramen, Miso Ramen, Tonkotsu Ramen and Shoyu Ramen.

I gave out a large belch and patted my stomach after I was finished.

The two old guys chuckled at my lack of manner.

"Oh yeah, thanks for feeding me yesterday. I'm Uzumaki Naruto and I promise I'll pay you back when I become the richest person in the whole world!" I declared. The guy chuckled.

"You're welcome. I'm Ichiraku Teuchi and I'll hold onto that promise" He smile at me, still squinty eyed. What's with old guys smiling at me... Wait... That guy with the jiggly skin didn't smile at me. Eh, I guess it's just these two.

When we began to leave, Teuchi-Jiji waved at us. I waved wildly at him with one hand as the other is clasped in the Old man

The Old man accompanied me back home and left with some leftover cookies I still have.

* * *

 **Finished! Yeah, Naruto officially met 3 old men.**


	14. Chapter 14

If anybody was asking why he, the great Kyuubi, the magnificent being who could destroy a forest with just a flick of his tail, frightened humans out of their skins with just a snort and demolish civilization with just a stomp of his feet, help such a measly human of a host, he would say that if his host dies, then he dies as well.

It's fun seeing her cull more of her kind. He really hates human other than his father. And in exchange for more entertainment that he never got each time he was sealed, he would lend his chakra to his host. N-not that he cared about anyone anyways. He actually feels fuzzy and uncomfortably warm when his host thanked him. Nobody has ever thanked him before

He stared at the screen in front of him, observing through the false child's eyes as she gazed the world around her. I-it's not like he l-likes her or anything! He just doesn't want his host to die, and in turn would make him die!

But...he was separated from his other half. The result ended up with him being significantly smaller. He roared and slammed his tail on the bars blocking his way to freedom in rage. When he gave up giving a beating to the bars, he huffed and sat down, lying his head on his hand.

Well, he hopes that this new host is more interesting than that of the previous two

* * *

I got the most brilliant idea! Since I suck in low level uglies, I decided to just create one and overpowered. Well, it isn't really my idea but the original and MALE Naruto. I did a ram and concentrated on my appearance. I really suck at genjutsu especially so I wanted to create a solid henge that is not that shitty genjutsu that can easily be dispelled,

With a poof, I looked at the mirror of my apartment and squealed. I GOT MY APPEARANCE BACK! Though I don't miss the tatas because of how uncomfortable it is when you lie down on your stomach and the monthlies that is SO ANNOYING!

But at least I got the height down! Now I can hug and squeeze Baby Hinata! Then I slapped myself in the face. I could have used this to buy things! Holy macaroni! I'm a genius!

But, I observed in the mirror. I thought of putting in a Dango-bun, Tsukino Usagi style! So I henged myself for that to happen since I'm too lazy. I observed in the mirror once more. It looked too ugly on my beautifulness! So I put it a lot shorter and was still not satisfied by the result so I just screwed it and left my hair original style; short.

It was a good thing I decided to henge my clothes as well. Since I'm too lazy on the design, I just did a black hoodie and jeans and skipped my way out after that. A lot of people stared at me, the ninjas suspiciously! MUAHAHAHA! I CAN TAKE OVER THE WORLD LIKE THIS

Just disguise myself. And since I can act pretty good, I, the great Uzumaki Naruto, will succeed! Though the 'taking over the world' attitude is too overrated. So Imma just continue on with my dream to be the most richest person on Earth.

I had a conspiracy and decided to head towards the Hokage tower to meet up with the old man. Though when I tried reaching there, the security was too strong. It makes me wonder whether or not they actually defend it against me, the tiny, blonde me.

So I just go the heck with it and ran straight in an leaping towards the Old Man, him finally being off guard, yet tense. Because I still love my life, I decided to let go of the henge to glomp him

"OLD MAN! DIDJA SEE MY AWESOMENESS IN THE HENGE!? I JUST DECIDED ON WHAT I WANT TO BE AND I made up my own stuff because I really suck in genjutsu, as well as the ugly as fuck Bunshin no Jutsu, as well as the Henge. I really suck at that so I decided to make my own things and TADAA!" I ignored the fact that I was currently hugging his face, with his face in my stomach.

He just picked me up and settled me on his lap, listening me blabbing the entire time about my genius. So I decided to do something.

"Old Man! I wanna try something!" So I got off of his lap when he pushed back his chair enough to release me and I changed my structure into a tiny, cute, baby bird that I've seen. Well it's not really a baby or anything. I just changed into HIBIRD!

I flapped my tiny, yellow wings and landed on top of his hat. I edged just a bit and look down, but with my miscalculation, it made me fall. But the Old Man caught me and set me on top of his desk, petting me gently. I crooned and nuzzled him. He chuckled when I did that, though he seemed to be amazed

"Do you know what you have done, Naruto-chan?" I quieted down when I heard his not normal tone. "Because normal Henges are not solid and are more of a genjutsu, it is never reliable. You, my dear, have made your henge solid. From skin to the bones, you have changed your entire structure" He said and I blinked.

"Doesn't that make me more awesome?" Wow, my voice is a lot squeaky. He chuckled and asked me to changed back. Though I sat in his lap for good measurements as it is not entirely safe for me to be on top of the desk no matter how small I am. I mean, this guy spends his entire life in his office signing paperwork. So of course he would be sad if I destroyed his hardwork. I also sympathize with him because I know the pain of that really annoying thing.

I played with the sleeves of his robes as he signed the work. I was bored so I picked up the stamp right after he finished using it and fiddled with it. He ruffled my hair with his hand that was not holding the pen and showed me where to stamp it. I spent the entire day stamping things for him, bringing his finished ones to the nice secretary of his and bringing snacks and drinks to his office for us to enjoy.

When we were done, he walked me home and I made him stay for dinner. After we were done, we both washed plates together and played card games together. This Old Man was pretty cool because he actually could shuffle the cards pretty well. Actually, the entire 20 minutes, it was of me watching him do card tricks with the bunch.

When it was time for me to go to bed, he tucked me in and told me stories about his days as a genin. This time, the story was of him arguing with someone named Danzo. The Danzo guy was a moody, emo bitch from what I could tell. While the Old Man said things that were supposed to be polite, I knew better. I nodded sagely and didn't see the Old Man sweatdrop at me.

He kissed my forehead when I was halfway to my dreamland. It felt comforting and stayed drowsy for a bit. But when the door slid shut, I snapped open my eyes in realization. It was the first time in this life, I've ever been kissed, or loved or anything really. I may call my (brainless) twin names, but it doesn't mean we don't love each other.

I felt warm and fuzzy. It made me realize how much I missed those days

* * *

 **Yes, the Kyuubi is a tsundere. But while Naruto knows his true name, she doesn't say it as she knows she wasn't given permission. I know that otherworldly beings preferred to be called by their other name instead of their** **birth because it either gives control over them and they don't trust them, because nobody asked them or both.**


	15. Chapter 15

When I went out, I finally saw my neighbor. When she first laid her eyes on me, she screamed like hell and called me a demon. A lot of the other neighbors started to get out of their doors to look at what happened. When they looked at me, they immediately sneered and slammed their door shut, away from me, just like that woman did.

After that, a week later, I found out that everyone have moved out of the apartment building I was currently living in, and became the sole owner of the building as the landlord had passed it to me as they didn't want their business to be 'contaminated' by me

* * *

"MUAHAHHAHAHA!" I laughed eviliy as I knocked down the walls. I made sure that I moved everything that the other people had left, drilled a hole from one end to another in order to see where I was smashing.

I looked at the mess I made. I only finished one floor, only about 3 left. Of course, I left all the toilets alone as I didn't really care whether or not it is small. Well, if Baby Hinata visits again, it will be convenient due to the amount of protector she needs. She got another protector for her. His name is whatchamavallot. Well, his name only has one syllable but does it look like I care? No

Then, I proceeded to discard the mess out the window, not caring whether or not I hit someone else

* * *

"Naruto-chan" The Old Man reprimanded me. I fidgeted on the spot. I knew what I did wrong, and I can't believe that the Old Man could make me fidget. I frowned. "I didn't know where to keep it because nobody told me" I pouted. The Old Man sighed, "Well, at least you know what you did wrong. I have already made the other Genins clean this up" He said, puffing out his smoke.

"Well, shall we go get ramen?" He said, smiling softly at me. My eyes sparkled, "YAYYYY!", I bounced around the room like some monkey who's parent was a spring, that's high on sugar or something.

I ate about 10 ramen this time and it was delicious.

* * *

The Old Man was walking me back home and wanted to see the damage I did to my building. Yes, it's mine now. I hummed Germany's Anthem (I am Germany-Made), because it's pretty catchy and it usually motivates me a lot more, only singing out the chorus and the German words. When we reached my house, he saw it fabulous. Well, there were still some cracks here and there because the walls are not perfectly shaped just like in minecraft. Too bad.

He sighed.

"Well, this counts as a house-warming gift, I guess" He said and he pulled out a cute little potted plant out of his sleeves and handed it over to me. It was so cute! I kept it down in order to hug him in thanks.

"Old Man! I want to make the top floor my garden!" I said. He ruffled my hair. "You haven't done anything else to the others except for this floor, right?" He asked and I nodded.

"Well, Can you do this old man a favor?" He asked. I gazed at him to listen carefully to what he has to say

* * *

I stared at the woman in front of me. Dressed scantily but looks good on her, the person who rolled into the room after I accept and the Old Man sent out a monkey summon, was Mitarashi Anko.

"THE SEXIEST KUNOICHI, MITARASHI ANKO, HAS ARRIVED!" She announced herself, then she noticed both of us staring at her and laughed nervously, bringing her hand to scratch the back of her head.

"She's the landlady?!" She pointed quite rudely at me, which I informed her and was rewarded with a middle finger. I grinned at that while the Old Man sighed but nodded at Mitarashi-san's question.

"Well, squirt. I guess we'll be acquainted with each other as long as you don't diss me" Mitarashi-san said. I nodded and held my hand out for her to seal the deal

"And we'll be acquainted as long as you pull your own weight around in here" I grinned. She grinned back at me and shook my hand, us laughing quite boisterously after that. "I shouldn't have introduced both of them to each other" The Old Man muttered as he face palmed


	16. Chapter 16

I wiped my sweaty forehead, observing my brand new garden. Of course, nothing sprouted yet, but I completed everything! And since everything's too expensive for me to afford, I decided to grow my own things with all the different types of seeds Mitarashi-san gave me when she came back from missions. I recognize some of them but they were all in different countries.

We both made an agreement on things, I handle the food, the laundry, the groceries, and the apartment while she handled the bill and the necessary paperworks, much to her chagrin.

* * *

Mitarashi-san wanted to show me her favorite spot in the whole wide world: Training ground 44, more commonly known as the forest of death. The reason she liked it was because of the deadly creatures in there.

Though everything seems so backwards. I just saw a frog eating a snake. And then a horse looking creature eating a tiger. I was like 'Holy shit'. This place seem to defy eburitingu.(Everything, just japanese accent)

She carried me on her shoulders, holding onto my legs so I don't fall down at all...as I held her head. She cackled the whole time she dodged different creatures. And because I was bored, I practiced my hand signs carefully, putting it in a sequence seemingly random.

I never did notice that I accidentally nicked my finger on a branch that passed by me and smoke invaded our sight.

* * *

"WHAT DID YOU DO!?" Once the smoke was cleared. We took in the sight of a different forest. It has way to many branches than it was supposed to. And I can't hear the random animal noises. So Mitarashi-san started running in a random direction to make sense of where we are. I pulled on her hair when I noticed something, making her stop and shout at me.

"I wanna go there" I pointed in the direction. She asked nothing and began running there.

* * *

I gasped in awe, taking in the sight before me. It's just like the gorilla paradise that Jane, her dad, and the bad guy saw in Tarzan. Only, it was an owl paradise

The owls all looked at Mitarashi-san and I in curiosity and wariness. While Mitarashi-san was wary and cautious, I cooed at their amazingness and beauty.

Some preened, seeming to have the vibe of 'Yeah, I know that I'm fucking gorgeous', while the others were shy. Though there were others who has the vibe of 'wtf?'.

I looked up when I saw a shadow passing above, only to find an old owl that was extremely huge. His/Her head was ever bigger than Mitarashi-san and my head combined. He/she landed on the branch right in front of my face. He/she stared at my face with scrutiny that felt vaguely disturbing before seeming to approve of something.

"How did you get here, my child?" The definitely female voice, asked. I shrugged, not even knowing how I got here.

"I just did random sequences and suddenly poof" I said seriously.

"Poof?" The wise looking owl looked at me amusedly. "Poof" I repeated back with a very, very serious face.

"May I ask what was the sequence you made?" She asked me. I showed her the random sequences I did previously and heard a slap. That sound was Mitarashi-san was facepalming.

"That was the hand sign for summoning, ya dimwit!" She yelled...Whoops?

"Very well then. Since you got here, I suppose that you get a chance to sign our scroll. It has been decades since the last summoner" The owl said. I covered my mouth in happiness.

"But..." She trailed off, closing his eyes, "As long as you heed the rules" She continued, opening his eyes, showing how serious she is about it.

"Rule one, _respect_ the owls. Rule two, know the boundaries and the limits. Rule three, do not tell the secrets of the Hakkokuchi. That is all. Will you follow the rules?" She looked at me seriously. I nodded solemnly. The Boss owl gestured something with her wings, causing an owl to bring a scroll on its back.

"Tell me your name, summoner" The owl asked.

"I am Uzumaki Naruto." I answered. She nodded. "Summoner Uzumaki Naruto. I am the head of the Owls, Chihaku. I will reverse summon you when the time comes for you to learn"

Mitarashi-san helped me signed the scroll by directing me even after being stunned by what's happening. After I finished signing in blood, the scroll enveloped itself in smoke before reappearing on the scroll owl's back, who flew off after its job was done.

"Farewell, Summoner Uzumaki Naruto, and Summoner of the Snakes" She said before we our vision was once more covered with smoke.

Mitarashi-san just stood where she was, before snapping out of it. She plucked me from her shoulders and shook me. "Do you even understand what you have done?" She asked me. I shook my head with difficulties because of her shaking me.

"The Owls are Summons from Kumokagure. You have just gotten a _Summon_ from _Kumo_ 's _respect_!" Her pitch got higher in disbelief. She groaned.

"Things are never going to be normal around, ain't it?" She lamented.

"Nope" I popped the 'p' happily.

* * *

 **This is never, ever going to be beta-ed because I am just writing this for fun. By the way, Hakkokuchi is roughly translated as White-Black Knowledge while Chihaku is Intellect.**


	17. Chapter 17

As a training, I had to take care for one owlet each week. This week's assignment is Hachi, an elf owl. The owlet can't talk in human tongue yet, but was always willing to soak up affection I give him.

I once tried to leave him at home, but hearing the sad chirp made me cave in, and I decided to bring him with me to the academy. I'm hoping to introduce Hachi to Hana now.

* * *

"Hwaaaannnnaaa-chwaaaannnn!" I exaggerated her name, earning a slap to the back of my head.

In class, I didn't pay attention to the new teacher's name and lesson, and introduced Hachi to Hana. I doodled on my notebook while petting Hachi, who was cooed and nipped at my fingers. That earned me a chalk to my forehead

"UZUMAKI! PAY ATTENTION!" He sneered at me.

"IT'S NOT LIKE YOU EVER CARE ABOUT MY EDUCATION, YA SUNNAVABITCH!" I yelled back and showed him the middle finger, crossing my legs and arms with a huff. That caused the teacher to storm all the way towards me. I knew this situation. The teacher's going to manhandle me to throw me out of the class. Hana got in the way and glared at the teacher, causing him to back down.

He has to be wary to not cause an heir to get angry with him.

So instead of making Hana-chan in trouble, which causes her to get detention, I stuffed all of my stuff into my stuff and defenestrated myself out of the class. Good thing I was near the window. Hana-chan made an outraged face like, 'Y u leave me?', kinda face.

Hachi just cooed like he snickered. Mischievous little imp.

* * *

I wanted some milkshake, preferable vanilla one, cause I prefer vanilla rather than chocolate. I can take chocolate bars but not too much chocolate. These people don't even know what ice cream is except for some popsicles and such, thus no milk shake.

SO I substituted the ice cream with ice. But the thing is, THERE'S NO FREAKING BLENDER!

I tried make a tiny, whirlwind, tornado thing and set it gently on the floor, only for it to disappear almost immediately. The next time I tried trying to form it, it became chaotic. The third time I tried to make it, I had to do some magic voodoo style to stabilize it.

I set the tornado on top of a cup and did my best to control it. My control sucks, a lot, so I can't not concentrate. I slowly dropped the ingredient into the tornado, making it shred it up and fall into the cup once it did its job.

I tried to imagine how Lydia from Tinkerbell does her tornado, whirlwind, swirly-swirly thing. So, when I envisioned it, I finally did it!

I poured out a bit of the milkshake out of the cup and into a saucer to give it to Hachi. Hachi looked at it suspiciously before hopping over to the saucer to try it. By the sound of his chirp, it's safe to say that he loves it. I stared at my cup. That blasted song came into my head. How I know? Because of my (not fabulous) twin who tries to search up different songs and try to annoy me with it.

The bad thing was that it works.

So now, stuck in my head, over and over, I keep on humming or singing "My milk shake brings all the boys to the yard. And they're like, its better than yours. Damn right its better than yours. I can teach you, but I have to charge." I only remember that part but it's even worst not remembering the rest of the lyrics.

Urhggghhhghghghghhghg


End file.
